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Vicki Courtney begins Your Boy: Raising Godly Sons in an Ungodly World (Broadman & Holman, April 2006), by declaring that she is a mother just like you, and she has had her share of blood, sweat, and tears along the way to prove it.  She admits she’s done plenty of things wrong, but she’s also done plenty of things right. 

 

Vicki shares personal (and sometime hilarious) stories of raising her sons that everyone, not only mothers, will enjoy.  In a chapter titled Warrior or Wimp- How Not to Raise a Momma’s Boy, Vicki shares her attempt to dress her four-year-old in a white pleated blouse with a sailor flap, knickers, white knee socks and plaid loafers.  This, she says, is when her husband drew the line.  He told her that if their son left the house wearing that he’d get beat up!  Her husband knew that knickers and knee socks were for wimps, not warriors.  While no mother purposely sets out to raise her son to be a wimp, mothers do play a critical role in developing the masculinity of their sons with their attitudes and actions.

 

This is why it is so important for sons to be able to trust and confide in their mothers. From cooties to crushes and beyond, a mom can be a tremendous positive influence in her son’s life, but first she must earn her son’s respect by living an authentic witness to the truths she imparts to her son.  Only then will she earn the right to he heard.  In order to create the kind of environment that lends itself to positive communication between mothers and sons when it comes to matters of the heart, Courtney uses the “never-ever” list:

 

Never ever…

• Share anything he tells you with another mom or sibling
• Tease him about liking a certain girl.  (You hated it when your parents did it, and he does too.)
• Push him to tell you more than he is comfortable with sharing.
• Badger him to like a certain girl.  It usually backfires anyway!
• Say/do things he would not want you to say/do in front of girls. (This goes for pulling out the cute naked baby pictures or telling embarrassing stories!)
• Minimize the pain of a breakup. (Example:  “It’s probably for the best so you can focus on your studies more.”) Such statements may be true, but ask yourself if what you are about to say to him would have offered you comfort at his same age after a painful breakup.
• Cease praying for your son.

 

As the mother of a son about to head off to college, Vicki advises mothers to enjoy every stage of their sons’ journeys to manhood because they’re only with them for a little while.  She reminds mothers that raising a godly son in an ungodly world is not an easy task, but it is an eternally rewarding one. 

 

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About the Author:

Vicki Courtney is the founder of Virtuous Reality Ministries, hosting sold out events across the United States for preteen and teen girls, and of www.VirtuousReality.com, a dynamic online magazine for females from middle school age to adulthood.  She is the best-selling author of Bible studies including Get A Life! and books such as Teen Virtue, The Virtuous Woman, and Your Girl.  Vicki lives in Austin, Texas with her husband, two sons, and daughter.

 

Your Boy

By Vicki Courtney

Broadman & Holman Publishers

Available April 1, 2006

ISBN: 0-8054-3055-5

Trade paper; $12.99; 224 pages; 5 x 8

ECPA Category: Christian Living/ Relationships/ Parenting

BISAC Category: FAM034000 Family & Relationships / Parenting